DOUGHKEY

Upon joining the prestigious adventurers guild at the age of 18, Doughkey spent the last 10 years living an uneventful life, undertaking only the most mundane and swiftly completable bronze-level quests- enjoying the relaxed and easy life of a nooby adventurer. His greatest accolades include delivering the highest quantity of nondescript parcels to nonviolent NPCs in guild history and slaying enough slimes to cause a very small and localized environmental collapse.One Day, the guild made a surprising announcement: they were opening a branch in the underworld. The position of guild master was offered to the adventurer with the most completed quests. Through this bizarre technicality, Doughkey was given an outstanding promotion. He eagerly accepted, convinced his life of ease and relaxation had just gotten that much more comfortable.From the eyes of a bronze-level adventurer, the life of a guild master never involves dangerous quests or leaving home for extended periods. It simply means sitting behind an oversized desk, flirting with the receptionist, and pestering everyone else. To look the part, Doughkey donned a pair of plastic imp wings, popped in a butt plug and dyed his hair pink. He kicked back in his comfortable new office, playing video games all day, chatting up the new receptionist, Giselle, and ordering around his fellow adventurers- certain that this was precisely how every esteemed guild master (such as himself) should conduct themselves.